February 27, 2014
I've been doing some thinking. When I can. Amidst this crazy little thing called life going on at my house. I'm beginning to see things differently. I'm not just running through my days, watching them tell me what to do. I'm experiencing. I'm seeing. I'm feeling. It's fascinating.
For a while now, I've been asking the Lord to help me to see, the way that He sees. It's not enough to me that I have a happy husband, kids and home. It's not even enough that I'm at church I love a few times a week, or that I read my Bible. There's been a longing. There's been a searching. There's been a desperation. And He is answering it all. It's fascinating.
The opportunities are increasing. The understanding within me is deepening. The reach of my love is stretching. The ideas in my heart and mind are coming quickly and clearly. It's as if God is saying, "Here. Here is purpose and here is ability and here is love and here is knowledge and here is understanding and here is wisdom and soooooo much more." I'm grabbing it up like shoes on a clearance rack and clinging to it like my life depends on it. Because, somehow, I feel that it does. It's fascinating.
I can't tell you where a page turned or why. Everything isn't perfect, but I asked Him to show me what He sees, and suddenly, my faith feels strong and heart feels big and I'm just simply less afraid. It's what He sees, and it's how He feels. I can't seem to conjure up judgement about things that are none of my business. I'm more patient with my children. I have a mouth full of words that are giving life and peace to those who seek counsel from me. I have filled hands that have been reaching out to the needy, to feed their literal hunger. My heart has been crying out, and now it feels like it's overflowing.
I've actually been staying quiet...as evidenced by the recent break from blogging. I simply didn't know what to say. I'm still not certain that I have the right words, but I decided I should try. Not for me. Not to boast of myself. All I did was ask. But, allow me a moment to boast about Him. He answers. He miraculously provides. He isn't finished with the works He has begun. He knows no lack and is ready to provide what we ask of him.
Ask. Ask. Ask. What is it that you don't know if you can handle, but you want to ask anyway? What is it that you need? What is it that will make you feel like the rest of life doesn't even matter if you can just have that one little piece of Him? Ask. That craving that's in you, that insatiable desire, that wondering that keeps you awake at night...He put it there. He is a fascinating God, but more interesting than that, He is fascinated with YOU. He sings over you. He intercedes for you. He dances over you with joy. If you are a parent, you know exactly how that feels. You find yourself staring at your child, you trace that subtle curve of their profiles, you smell their hair, you touch their ears and kiss their toes. You are fascinated by them. Please, dear reader, put yourself in a child's place when you think of your heavenly Father. He marvels over every detail of you, inside and out. He wants you to have all of Him, but more than that, He wants you to WANT to have all of Him. He wants you to crave Him, to desire Him, to wonder about Him. When He sees that you DO, His heart is full. His faith in you is strong. He has no fear that you will leave Him.
Sweet Daddy God,
How precious to know that you are fascinated by us. How unimaginable to know that you want to offer your best qualities and attributes as undeserved mercies and grace in our lives. Your favor is nothing short of miraculous. Your blessings are nothing short of amazing. Your love for us...well, it's fascinating. Let us never overlook the reality that you have placed desires in our hearts that, once fulfilled, are our way of blessing You back! Give us opportunities Lord, to honor You. Shine on us and let us all see what you see. Let us not be afraid to ask for a deeper portion, a stronger faith, a secret desire. Let the words of our mouths and the meditations of our hearts be acceptable unto You, Oh Lord, our God. We love you. Amen.