November 6, 2012

Sow Me!

Our family is not one to say "No" to taking risks, to trying new things, to standing up when we're afraid. I challenge our children not to fear anything and, aside from seeing a snake in person, I'm not very fearful myself. At least, I try not to be. I've been raised to believe that I can do anything that I set my mind to, and that I don't have to be afraid to stand up for what I believe. We are willing, hopeful and expectant that we will be used by God wherever we are, for whatever length of time that season lasts. That's the mentality that makes a person especially useful to God. When you don't allow yourself to have personal hinderances and fears about trying something new and different, you're able to stand before God and say, "Sow Me!". Sow me into that relationship, sow me into that ministry, sow me into that job opportunity, sow me into...whatever! Even if I'm afraid, I'll do it afraid!!! If you see yourself as a SEED, healthy, ready and willing to be planted, to grow and to produce seed of your own, it's immeasurable what God can do with you. The hardest part of being a seed is not knowing where the Master Gardener will choose to plant you. The climate may not feel as comfortable as you'd like, the soil may feel more abrasive than the pod you've always been in, the water may seem to be drowning you, and the process of burrowing down and literally breaking out of your own skin to dig down deep to plant roots while reaching and stretching up to break through to the Light is well, painful. Always. There's no part of being buried, drowned and fighting your way out that seems pleasant or enjoyable. However, after having had many opportunities to be sown, I look at my life and say, I've been sown, put down roots, been uprooted, transplanted and buried deep, but my Master Gardener has had the wisdom to know where and when I will produce the most fruit, bearing seeds of my own. In prayer today, I have asked God to "Sow Me" in the way that He chooses. Our family of 7 has just come through major transition in a cross-country move, we're house-hunting, considering school options, determining employment situations, researching eventually increasing our family size...the list goes on. So, when I say to Him, "Sow Me", that in itself comes with a certain amount of challenging myself to be courageous. It's hard to move to a place where we've never lived, it's painful to consider that we may not always be a home schooling family, it's frustrating to be between jobs or in one that doesn't feel just right, and it's just downright overwhelming to begin researching adoption of a child! My faith has to be strong enough that I can look past my circumstances, my preferences and often, my own desires. I choose to be at peace, I choose to be sown, and I choose to grow strong and healthy enough that I am producing fruit, filled with seeds who will one day look at my life and know that they can do it too.

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